If you’re a person who has a lot of ideas, you probably know what it feels like to doom scroll Instagram and wonder: how is everyone else making it happen?

More often than not, the creatives we follow are sharing results. We seem to forget that every idea goes through a rigorous process to come out the other end as a completed project. No matter how tied up in a bow it may seem, there’s a 99% chance that the person saying “Look what I did!” on social media went through hell and back to get to the point where they felt they had something worth sharing.

What might hell and back look like during the lifecycle of a project? For me, it looks a little something like sleepless nights, developing a deep hatred for the idea, a laundry list of unforeseen distractions, a daily practice of beating my head against the wall hoping to knock some inspiration out, tears… need I say more on this one? One or all of these obstacles are inevitable.

Steal Like An Artist by Austin Kleon is my creative bible. In it, he includes a chart called “The Life Of A Project”, which flawlessly explains the emotional labor of taking an idea from point A to point Z. 

As you can see on the chart, the low point is coined “the dark night of the soul.” Call me dramatic, but I don’t think there’s an ounce of exaggeration in that. Any human who has worked on a project that matters to them knows exactly what rock bottom feels like. It’s dark.

After about the 10,000th time of journeying through the “Life Of A Project” process, I was craving tools. Tools to survive the hard parts. I developed this “Life Of A Project” Survival Guide to help me (and you) push through when we hit the “dark night of the soul.”

Go back to WHY

While purpose-driven work can seem a bit cheesy, I’d implore you to stop judging and hop on board ASAP. Ask yourself, “What am I trying to accomplish with this idea and why does it matter to me?” If you can’t put your finger on it, it’s time to quit. File it away. Love her, but let her go. Creative writing queen, Elizabeth Gilbert, asks in Big Magic: What are you passionate about that you can endure this sh*t storm? We’ve established that this project is going to take a ton of effort, but why would you show up and put in the work if you don’t have intention behind it? The WHY of your project is the first thing you have to get in touch with when things get inevitably hard. Whether your why is “I need to develop this newsletter in order to grow my business” or “I’m doing this to solve the homelessness epidemic” – it has to matter to you. If you’re in the “dark night of the soul” of your project and you realize you don’t have a purposeful why – it’s okay to quit. Quitting that half-hearted idea leaves space for new inspiration to find you.

Commit substantial time to R&D

Occasionally, literal magic happens – your creative juices flow so smoothly that you start to believe you might have Lennon and McCartney level star power. But if you’ve made it this far, you don’t need me to tell you that it almost never happens this way. It’s imperative to remember this: a lack of flow does not mean a lack of value. A lack of flow usually means a lack of time spent on research and development.

When I have an idea that I can’t get the ball rolling on, I make an outline of what I want it to look like as a finished product. This makes the R&D holes glaringly obvious. At first glance of this outline, you may spiral into I know nothing, I have nothing, and this idea is worth noooooothing. But deep breaths, my friend. What you’ve just done for yourself is lay out a solid foundation. You now have a place to work from. Fill in those blanks, one by one, and soon, the flow will find you.

Crown your CIO

DO NOT pass go without following through on this one.

I call my sister my CIO (Chief Ideas Officer). When I need to talk through a half-baked idea, when I’m stuck on a project, or when I think I’ve just written a Nobel Peace Prize-worthy article, I call her. She’s my sounding board. She listens, she takes it in, she gives HONEST feedback. She sees the holes I can’t see. Her creativity waters the idea so it can bloom. There are times when she tells me it might be time to scrap it. And there are times when she just says “You’re onto something. Keep going.”

In any case, trusted support means everything. Creatives, entrepreneurs, freelancers, PEOPLE – we need support. Whoever it is for you – a mentor, a coach, a big sister – make sure you’re comfortable being honest and vulnerable when you share with them, and that you’re mentally and emotionally open to taking in their response. Crown your CIO – she’ll light a candle during your “dark night of the soul.”

Yes – 9 times out of 10 the Life Of A Project will require some deep emotional labor. But with these strategies, you’re going to come out alive! You may even find yourself thriving through some of it (can you imagine!).

Use this survival guide. Give your idea the grace to develop, to flop, to evolve, and to live outside of you. And even when it’s all crap and worth nothing – give yourself some love for trying.

This one won’t be your last.

Stay curious.